On Christmas Trees and a Series of Fortunate Events

4 years ago I came to HATE artificial Christmas trees in my home. I still do, very strongly. Before that the issue has never risen as in Ukraine an artificial Christmas tree – although available for purchase – wasn’t even considered an option. But since we moved to the U.S., Love has taken a strong stand against real Christmas trees for several reasons. 1. It’s a waste of money. It’s financially sane to buy an artificial tree that would last 5-7 years. (I agree that $50 for a real tree annually is too much, even for an irreplaceable symbol as it is, especially when a To-Buy list is endless). 2. Artificial trees are more environmentally friendly, since cutting down real trees is cruel. If people stopped buying real trees, the industry will stop supplying them, therefore saving the trees. (This is wrong. See video above). 3. Real trees are a hassle to set up and a mess to get rid of. (Cant’t argue with this, but I am ready to suffer the inconvenience for the pleasure a real tree brings. Besides, it’s not him who cleans up all the mess anyway).

So, for 3 years we fought over a Christmas tree but I managed to get my way (read: Love gave in for the sake of peace of HIS mind).

But in 2015 a friend left his artificial tree to us. I did not want it, but Love took it in and considered that a closed issue. So, for the 2016 New Year I was stuck with this tree. And even though it is a surprisingly beautiful tree, I came to HATE its kind viciously.


I felt so bad about this whole tree issue that I was almost ready to quit this year. I still took that artificial tree out, set it up and straightened the branches but could not make myself decorate it. So it stood for 3 days, sad and hated, until a text message changed the picture. The message was from a friend who told me that they got a huge real tree for $5 from a Lowe’s couple blocks away from my house. Just a day or two before Christmas!

Naturally, I rushed in and got myself a beautiful 7 ft tree for $5. But because it was late when I got to the store, there was no-one to prep the trunk for installation (they usually drill a whole in the trunk and cut the bottom parallel to the ground for easy set-up at home). So, I dragged my tree through the store and God knows how pushed the humongous beast INTO my Ford Focus sedan. This is very close to what it looked like:

Source: https://www.flickr.com/photos/stevendepolo/5241935325

At home, after I pulled the tree out of the car (which was a whole long and different story!), I realized that the trunk did not stand quite straight. SAMSUNG CSC

So, I was very diligent paying close attention to drilling the hole as perpendicular to the ground as possible, so that the tree stands perfectly straight in its holder. And this is what I got: Next time you need an illustration to the word “Screwed”, look no further! You are welcome!


At this point Love – who was more than patient with my endeavor – threw in the towel. And we had a great laugh at my craftsmanship and knowledge of elementary physics 🙂 The next morning I had a brilliant idea (I know, I know, need sparkles ingenuity). All I needed was another type of holder! Like this one, which I immediately went and got from a thrift store for $3:


And this is what a true happy ending looks like:

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A nice cherry on my pie was the star to top the tree. For, you see, I have not had any top on our trees, artificial or else, for the past 5 years. So, this is quite special 🙂

Hope you all had jolly holidays!



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